I Saw A Film.

This one is a curious one. A British suburban co-ed biker gang, wearing helmets that make them look a bit like the Pokemon Duskull, enjoys spoiling people’s days by causing accidents, threatening old ladies, pinching the bottoms of cute hot-pants-wearing mommies pushing perambulators and just basically being big ole nuisances. They spend a good portion of their time amping themselves up as they circle a standing-stone, neolithic monument so common on the British Isles.

Meanwhile the mother of the gang leader is mysteriously tied into the after-life and gives grieving families tedious seances with their deceased loved ones. Her live-in beau is gaunt-man George Sanders who has more than a bit of knowledge about the dark-side of life and death.

Soon enough our gang-leader, Tom, gets this terrific idea that he might become immortal if he just offs himself. The idea seems to stem from an unusual toad he locates in a cemetery, and also appears on a bunch of family heirloom jewelry kept by his bizarre folks, as well as this idea that if you just really believe you’ll come back, you probably will. Well he crashes off a bridge and his gang send him off buried upright on his motorbike in the world heritage neolithic site, sort of like in the great movie Cemetery Man which I can’t find anywhere these days. And sure enough, Tom comes roaring back to life, tears-ass out of the hole in the ground and immediately knocks a fellow dead and then has to go buy some fuel, the bike is just a bike after all.

Well soon enough he’s back with his gang and pontificating at length on the benefits of suicide and after-life nuisance biking. Oh by the way, their gang is the “Living Dead” biker club, no one went far around the block to come up with that.

Soon a few more members have suicided on their bikes and some have returned (with new bikes too!), ooh the hijinks that ensue now, as they crash their way through brick walls and foil the coppers.

I have to mention the wonderful sappy song “Riding Free” obviously written and performed for the film, a bit of a folksy guitar number that speaks about the riding of his machine “like a bomb” and leaving “fools behind him”, you know, the usual hero song about an undead biker.

I do like the inclusion of the lady bikers in this piffle. American bikers are a conservative lot despite their alternative lifestyle choices. I don’t recall any co-eds in the gangs. Though, of course, there are the all-lady biker gangs, none better than the gang from DarkTown Strutters. But, that’s not your general biker genre film.

What will become of our heroes? Will they just live forever kicking over orange road-marking cones, and pinching young mommy butts? Will they upgrade their cute little motorbikes with something more substantial? Will Abby get around to embroidering everyone’s names on their kit? Will Cemetery Toads become the next popular religious system? Will Tom’s mother end the reign of horror with her dark skills by turning into a toad? (spoiler alert: Yes, that one.)

For nothing on Prime! This film was also apparently titled The Death Wheelers!

2 thoughts on “Psychomania (1972)

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