I Saw A Film!

In a parallel universe where custom van culture is a thing, a small covey of brazen and cute van-based prostitutes sell their special talents to lonely good-ole boys of the highways of Van Nuys, California. The vans are parked in a kind of wagon circle in the desert, and the folks are just kinda partying endlessly, though, it’s really hard to tell what engines the festivities. Much like some of the biker flicks, the purveyors of said culture just seem overjoyed with their love of being around the custom paint jobs and carpeted interiors.

There is a smattering of CB radio talk, but it doesn’t really feature, the ladies just use it to monitor the movements of the comic sheriff and his buzz-kill attitude. We are treated to some fairly average fellows getting it on with the cuties in what is actually more a soft-core porn comedy than a trucker film. So we are fed well on the lovely breasts of the three main ladies, who are known as prunes, lemons, and melons. Yep. Twenty-five bucks gets you a mediocre throw-down.

A small town newspaper-writer has aspirations of an Eric Sevareid career in journalism and imagines he’s onto some big capers as he pokes about the camp and interviews the characters.

IMBD says, “Truckdrivers help each other avoid the police by creating roadblocks by communicating on their CB radios.” This is BS. No such thing happens in this film. While many of the actual trucker films are about this, this film isn’t about the truckers, it’s about the sweet prostitutes in the back of some shag-vans.

There is a lot of folksy country-rock used in the soundtrack and the film definitely has a home-made feel to it, and is in dazzling 70’s saturated color. Being that it’s just a “softcore” porn there’s mainly just boobs and kissing, a bit of leg here and there, thankfully. I’m not anti-porn, of course, but when you’re anticipating a lot of husky, manly men, barking about smokies on their CB radios and blocking the road with their 18-wheelers, getting instead a bunch of unattractive ham-hocks locked in passionate embrace is a tad disappointing. I mean, you can have boobs and actual truckers, why only one?

There’s nothing wrong with this goofy little comedy except that it’s absolutely not a trucker film. So if you’re a trucker film aficionado, like me, you can safely avoid this distinct lack of trucks. What is a trucker without trucks? It’s a Bond film without spy stuff, instead, perhaps he balances a corporate budget. Or a Rambo movie in which he manages a day-care and keeps a kid from choking on gum. Or Bob Dylan in an argument with his daughter about her wanting a tattoo (which frankly I’d still like to hear). . . it’s just parochial is what it is. Without the trucks a trucker film is an argument with a teenager about her wanting a really regrettable tattoo.

This is free on Prime. I can’t recommend it for anything.

One thought on “CB Hustlers (1976)

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