I Saw A Film! Also sometimes titled Wake Up and Die which is apparently not quite the direct meaning of "Svegliati e Uccidi", is your basic sensationalized Italian crime film which just shamelessly portrays criminal personalities as driven protagonists not unlike some of our favorite Hollywood baddies ranging from Dillinger to Scarface and beyond. The…

I Saw A Film! As the movie begins we find out that the gods have been absent from the lives of people because we people need to learn to do without gods. After Hera, Poseidon and company raise King Minos to fight Hercules their protagonist escapes them by using science, though what they intend by…

I Saw A Film! You know all that outrageous and deadly religious nonsense about witches used as a great excuse for wiping out millions of "undesirable" or "well positioned" (especially but not always) women folks needed out-of-the-way by rotten mediaeval power-players for hundreds of years? Well it turns out they were right and witches are…

I Saw A Film! The post-apocalypse, a land of permed hair, tribal alliances, desert settings and crossbows. Key elements are armored motorcycles and guys dressed like Legion of Doom from the WWE, along with their workout video hotties. I don't know what the first one was, but I'm guessing it was Mad Max-adjacent and we…

I Saw A Film! Bronson, lean and mean, has to tangle with his old gang, lead by James Mason (hamming a southern accent) in the rocky south of France where he's been retired and leading a quiet life on the sea. The old gang are ticked off about having had to do time and possible…

I Saw A Film! A modelling agency throws a couple of its hotties on a boat and lets them drift around to be rescued as a kind of publicity stunt. Not a great idea even if it were to actually work. Instead the cuties end up being found by a Ghost Galleon! Yes, one of…

I Saw A Film! Dangerfield and Pesci are a pair of pot-smoking gamblers who are set to inherit a family fortune if only Dangerfield can lose weight and quit his adolescent addictions. I always feel like Rodney was playing this middle-aged (and aging), joker character in dozens of movies, but in reality it was just…

I Saw A Film! In a kind of updated variation on the old Bruce Dern Silent Running sci-fi/robot adventure set in space, we now have Farrah Fawcett and Kirk Douglas in a far off-planet (Titan!) hydroponic garden apparently supplying food to Earth (them gotta be some expensive potatoes!). When who should arrive but Harvey Keitel…

I Saw A Film! Made for TV and top heavy with television stars including Lumpy, Wally and Eddie Haskell from Leave It To Beaver, Dwayne Hickman and Bob Denver from Dobie Gillis, Angela Cartwright who was Penny on Lost In Space, an early role for Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, Anthony Edwards from Revenge of…

I Saw A Film! Stop pretending you invented women's liberation and strong lead roles for the ladies. Every generation loves to pretend it did it first, and relish the idea of trench fighting against all the resistance (every man a misogynist, we end up thinking it's true), with some reinvention of freaking Wonder Woman (face…