I Saw A Film!

It’s never a good idea to deliver your exposition in the song that opens your film (that’s Gilligan’s Island), but second only to that is having your characters sit and watch the news on a television and receive the plot of their film. Much of Tiffany Jones is a slapstick comedy about a fictional “Soviet-like” country’s head of state coming to Britain and running into Jones and various opposition. Tiffany spends most of her time in bathtubs. She’s not a secret agent, but ends up as a kind of agent of change, but, you know, one fun to look at.

Tiffany, played by Anoushka Hempel (basically unknown to me) been recruited for an advertisement shoot for the little country of Zardava or Sardona or whatever Bullwinkle made up place it is. Tiffany is modeling, and like in Zoolander, modeling, it turns out, is far more than just bearing your skin, though, it’s obvious the film-makers were sure we’d all like to see her boobs. The president wants her, and admits to having killed off the state’s beloved monarch. Soon she’s contacted by the dead monarch’s handsome son, Salvador (I have no idea who the actor is), posing as a photographer. He books a session with Tiffany, and recruits her to help him kill the president. He hopes to play the president’s protectors off against the slapstick revolutionaries disguised as slapstick cooks. It’s already far more complicated than the average Bond film. The revolutionaries capture Tiffany and threaten to turn her into a dish, but like all good villains, they leave her to cook a bit on the stovetop, giving opportunity for her rescue.

Act two has Tiffany turn the corner and adopting Salvador’s operation (returning the home country to monarchy being somehow a better choice) begins to unfold a plan luring the revolutionaries into an elaborate goofball deal of posing as the president for American arms dealers. The Americans are treated with heavy accents and are totally ignorant of where they are, thinking first they’re in Rome, then in Paris, they call the hotel to be told London. The big joke is about the use of the word “bread” for money.

I won’t tell you how it all winds up, but even many Americans these days seem ready to fight for a goonish feudal lord, at least in this story he’s a handsome lad who (though practicing on his balcony a strange victory speech) seems to have a soul. As for Tiffany, she’s neither spy nor operative, she just ended up in the right place at the right time with the skills needed to pull off the naked shenanigans. There’s something kind of sweet in the way this sort of movie, silly as it is, shows us that big accomplishments can be achieved without bombs and guns, but with wits and charm, a fine moral. We should be doing more wit and charm. Oh and some supportive friends, one is played by Ray Brooks from The Knack, and How to Get It.

Running freebie on American Prime. And loaded with pretty ladies. I struggle with some of these British movies as I basically am totally ignorant of all the actors even if I look them up on IMDB!

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