I Saw A Film!

A modelling agency throws a couple of its hotties on a boat and lets them drift around to be rescued as a kind of publicity stunt. Not a great idea even if it were to actually work. Instead the cuties end up being found by a Ghost Galleon! Yes, one of those sea legends of ancient vessels still being piloted by the dead crew.

The modeling agency then must kind of muster its own rescue mission. Meanwhile, the ghosts on the ratty old ship rise and cause the poor damsels to make a lot of overdubbed noise (it’s an Italian film so it often sounds like two or three ladies are complaining for every one). There’s a certain acting style the ladies lean on in these old spaghetti horror films, they tend to look excessively helpless, comically rolling their eyes and stumbling backwards. When their ankles are grabbed by the skeletal hands they make a lot of noise but are not allowed to kick their feet (they might break the props). The ghosts themselves are mainly very stiff puppets of skeletons (hell they’re supposed to be pretty ancient so stiffness I guess should be expected). They don’t look like they’d survive a spring breeze let alone a healthy resistance from a toddler. So, somehow the ladies have to make the monsters look impressive and I appreciate them for that!

Eventually a very annoying professor who speaks about various dimensions and astrology and other nonsense arrives to spoil most of the fun. He starts talking about satanic ritual and knights Templar etc. Who cares? None of it is sensible why bother trying to couch the ridiculous desire to make a monster movie in some kind of “parascience”? But it is tradition I suppose.

Much of the film is sadly poorly lit and is really only fun for the finale when the ghosts, or I guess I’d have called them animated skeletons, make their way to shore to chase after the last of the survivors of the rescue mission. Seeing them walking out of the sea is a cinematic treat. Lesson learned. Don’t be dumping your excess models in the middle of the ocean or they might attract the living dead.

this is Free on Prime in good ole USA and is a struggle to get through I’m sorry to say, despite the promise of so many beauties. Horrors of Spider Island is still champion. I love that the poster calls it an “Important” film.

3 thoughts on “The Ghost Galleon (1974)

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