I Saw A Film!

What a grand, fun, dippin’-dots inspired adventure! Tyrian Lannister’s dad, otherwise known as Charlie Dance, has created some mechanical bio-weaponry that are basically standing in for Aliens. No matter, the trope of a careless megacorp selling impossible to stop, uber destructive, inhuman monsters has long been a delicious fantasy to savor and savor we do, even if they, stomp along like drunks and look a bit like robot dancers imitating 70s era kung fu movies with a bit of disintegration ray for flavor. But, forget them for the moment, look at none other than Dennis Hopper as space trucker John Canyon hauling square hogs (the rubbery puppets are wonderful here) for slaughter and winding up in the bar sweet-talking the lovely, agate-blue eyed Debi Mazar (Empire Records). Soon enough Hopper’s offered Mazar a ride to Earth if she’ll marry him, she grudgingly accepts. Especially since her day job has just become untenable due to George Wendt’s unlucky demise through a broken space window. They probably need replacing.

Unfortunately for our heroes, Hopper, Mazar and her bff, a new trucker recruit, the company has already hitched a load of these Alien-lookalikes to his rig and, unbeknownst to them, are carrying them rapidly to Earth. However, we get intercepted on the way by some space pirates lead by none other than the same scientist creator, double-crossed, left for dead, but now about 75% made of bio-mechanical parts. He’s wonderfully Ahab peg-legged and dressed like an SS officer who survived a bad aircraft crash. He takes a liking to the lovely Mazar who has been running around in her underwear for a while now (good for us!), but she sets in motion a chance for escape for her trapped comrades.

Meanwhile, the pirates have been tinkering with the load of killer-robots and all hell breaks loose. Great fun in a sort of The Fifth Element kind of way, which was made right about the same time as this beast, and the crossover visuals are fairly compelling. When Mazar finally does get dressed, its just in time for the windshield of the spacetruck to get blown out, so she won’t explode from the lack of atmosphere.

What’s a lot of fun here is having Dennis Hopper in a comic / heroic lead, and the colorful, over-the-top gore effects. Once again we’ve got Stuart Gordon (Reanimator, From Beyond) writing and directing so we should expect some horror-film malarkey.

This is running free on PRIME USA and includes a cute instructional on how to punch in zero G. I could have done with a bit more Trucker motif, just having Hopper’s nav sat use an exaggerated country accent wasn’t quite enough. I’d have liked at least one “10-4 good buddy.”

they don’t actually spend much time in helmets

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