Planet of the Vampires (1965)

I Saw A Film! Hard to resist a Mario Bava sci-fi space-thriller. You get fantastic Lost In Space beige-looking sets, terrific high-collar, scuba suits, really cheap-ass looking ray-guns and aliens that are little more than lights filtered to primary colors. Somehow Bava manages to tie this all together with barely any music but the tension…

Battle Creek Brawl (1980)

I Saw A Film! Or as it was called on the VHS I owned way back, The Big Brawl, is a schmorgasborg of Chan stunts, with a fairly silly fight film wrapped around it. It's one of the earlier of the no-holds (or often enough, weapons) barred type event films, and is set in pre-war…

Images (1972)

I Watched a Film! A bit of a slow puzzler (with an actual jigsaw puzzle in to boot) about a crazed wealthy wife of a terrible-joke-telling bird-hunter. She's apparently a children's book author (snippets of colorful fantasy prose are sprinkled in) who keeps seeing apparitions, two of them louts who are trying hard to have…

The Wild One (1953)

I Saw A Film! I suppose from our vantagepoint of privilege and plenty it's a little difficult to understand what all the fuss about Brando was. Being a child of the sixties and seventies Brando had already sort of peaked, and would gain most of his later career reputation for The Godfather, a film set…

Cemetery without Crosses (1969)

I Saw A Film! French acted spaghetti western of spectacular moody gunfighter drama. The caption read something about fetish, and I had to watch twice before I realized it was about his black glove on his hammer-fanning hand (not what I was thinking). At one point winning a confrontation just by putting his glove on.…

The Blue Lagoon (1980)

I Saw A Film! It's a famous one this time, full of the objectionable terror pretty nude young people stir in us as we find them attractive and nature winds up triggering our shame. Let's face it, it's just a good time watching the adorable Brooke Shields in all her underwater gracefulness. But the eye…

The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966)

I Saw A Film! In my continuing effort to understand more deeply the world in the age of my birth (mid-1960s) I occasionally delve into the popular entertainment of the era. This is one of those comic, though inept romps that not only includes Erich Von Zipper (and his catchphrase "You stupid!"), but a guy…

Joyride (1977)

I Saw A Film! Melanie Griffith completists will enjoy still baby-fat Melanie riding with that guy who would soon be lead Nerd in Revenge of the Nerds (who I did not realize is a Carradine!) and the offspring of Desi and Lucy up to Alaska to continue being poor and rootless and end up in…

Those Lips, Those Eyes (1980)

I Saw A Film! Another older film suffering from a lack of definition on our modern big screens, this one has Tom Hulce, a few years before mega-stardom with Amadeus and just post-Animal House, as a young man fascinated with a local theater and a struggling, middle-aged thespian, never getting the good roles in the…

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

I Saw A Film! I preferred my fantasy of Elvira. Apparently those in creative didn't share my vision, and I, instead of nodding a resignation of cynical expectation, felt kind of depressed about it. Granted the whole point of Elvira was the old cheap entertainment of watching crappy films and interrupting them with jokes, what…