self published

I put together a couple of short books. One a collection of some of my short stories, and another that is basically one novella. They are sometimes sexy, so don't be offended. I'm going for humor and amusement mostly, but some of the stuff is also a little touching. Feels. Get it? Enjoy! https://www.amazon.com/Elsewhere-Next-Time-Other-Stories-ebook/dp/B087934TZM/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?dchild=1&keywords=Geoff+balme+elsewhere+next+time&qid=1590441430&sr=8-1-fkmr0 https://www.amazon.com/No-Hard-Feelings-Geoffrey-Balme-ebook/dp/B0871S18CW/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&qid=1590441502&refinements=p_27%3AGeoffrey+Balme&s=digital-text&sr=1-3&text=Geoffrey+Balme…

This May Be For You

Postulate: A great many films have been made.Postulate: Most of these films I have not yet seen.Conclusion: I will watch some of these missed gems and give my thoughts.Result: Amusement and perhaps something of a guide to these artworks of our entertainment industry. There may be some other thoughts that bubble out amidst the film…

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

I Saw a Film! again. It's been a while, I was right at the age this would have mattered to me most, and did know the girls who were influenced by Pat Benetar. I had vague memories of Sean Penn, but thought he had more import in the film. In fact, I thought the film…

Queen of Blood (1966)

I Saw A Film! Set in the far future of 1990, when man has made trivial traveling to the moon, The question of whether or not there is other intelligent life in the universe is shattered when a message arrives from Mars that Basil Rathbone as Dr. Faraday decodes as a distress call. Our fabulous…

The Magnificent Cuckold (1964)

I Saw A Film! Meanwhile, the Italians were cooking up these fantastic darkly-comic jealously-filled raging, infidelity stories. Ugo Tagnazzi has it made! Married to the fabulous Claudia Cardinale and beloved on the side by Christiana who visits him in hotel rooms and readily plays sexy fantasy games for him. Poor suffering idiot! Here's where the…

The Mouse on the Moon (1963)

I Saw A Film! This 1963 follow-up to A Mouse that Roared no longer has Peter Sellers (playing any, let alone multiple roles) and while the story is more fun in that very dry British humor sense, it's much harder to follow. It's much like trying to glean action from reading dialog. Almost everything, in…

Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965)

Again, in that strange spell of the early sixties, where big hair-dos and Frankie and Annette (they're both in this, though Annette only briefly, and wonderfully placed) are king and queen, we have one of these painful comic romps (granted aimed at a G audience), full of inept, sexless people, lead by Dwayne Hickman, fresh…

Black Caesar (1973)

The long line of great blaxploitation films does not get much better than this example of the ghetto gangster, rags to riches story. And there is no action star better suited to it than Fred Williamson. From lowly bootblack to numbers courier and finally a hit-man himself dedicated to owning the streets, Tommy upsets his…

The Mechanic (1972)

The original Bronson thriller was a far more dark and weird version than the more recent Jason Statham remake. I'm not sure why the older films are more psychotic, or even if I can really say that the likes of Dirty Harry, Rat Patrol, or another Bronson vehicle Death Wish really were more openly violent…

The Swinging Cheerleaders (1974)

Basically a premise for showing off some boobs (never a bad thing) a journalism student decides, against her beau's more radical wishes, to infiltrate the cheerleading squad to first-hand understand how women are demeaned and oppressed by sports, or culture or whatever. What she finds instead is a vile betting scheme that eventually demands the…

Murderer’s Row (1966)

Another sweet Dean Martin variation on the superspy fantasy hero, loaded with the era's swinging cool, and crooner tunes. Played largely for laughs, but also devoted to and rooted in the early sixties kitsch and cool. When Dean's Matt Helm, is push-buttoning his way through his morning booze automation after spending the night with one…